I had a really rough day today. Things started off a bit rushed as I tried my best to get onto campus early to meet with someone who offered me some work. I managed to get Kess and Mira out for a run but only did a quick leash walk with Ross and Hannah. I figured I’d take them out in the afternoon, after my errands. Then I remembered that I had a second meeting at 1:30, which threw everything out of whack. I figured I’d still be home by 3ish, but… well everything just went south the moment I left my house this morning.
I won’t bore you with the details but in brief, I attended a meeting where some people with some serious power issues were in a room full of people with little power, and it was essentially an ideological massacre. I of course stood up for what I believed in, and paid the price. I left two hours later completely distraught, shaking and rattled to the core. I walked home shaking and even crying on and off. I wasn’t even the direct target of what was going on, but it doesn’t matter. The argument was symbolic of what I face in my current situation and made it clear that I need to move forward with change. Ironically, on my way into the meeting I was considering holding off on my move until October, but this made it very clear that I can’t.
Needless to say, I didn’t get around to taking Hannah or Ross for a walk. Once home I sat quietly for well over an hour, trying to purge the negative energy from my body and mind. Then I went to market to get milk and some meat for the dogs. By then it was 7pm and a friend asked me over for a glass of wine. I just got home (it’s well after midnight!).
My dogs are so great. Even the puppy (Kestrel) is quiet in her crate and Hannah and Mira are curled up with me on the bed. I think I will let them stay here tonight. They are my reality, not the abstract politics at work. But I need them to remind me of that tonight. Thank goodness it’s the weekend.